My heart is sad we couldn’t overcome
Every day I carry that sadness, but it has gotten less heavy
And the truth is, I am happier now
And I think you would say the same
And I’m so much better now
And that’s because of you.
The other day I was writing a poem, and somehow it turned into a letter to you
I almost even paid to have it delivered to you
It wasn’t anything more than just closing thoughts to this book of us.
See what I don’t think you ever understood about me is that I completely understand how silence is protection
But I also understand how silence is lonely
And that’s why I became so self expressive
Not because it was easy or because I was good at it
And definitely not because I wasn’t afraid
It is because of my fear that I try to share my inner self with the world, whether that be another person or words on the internet
And I’m still scared every single time I do it
But even when I do it wrong and even when I do it messy, I’m always grateful I did
Because it means I really cared and I chose vulnerability and bravery to share myself out loud
Even when I lose, I have never regretted it yet.
So yeah…I’m good and I hope you are too.
I stopped begging God to help me stop missing you
and I finally accepted that I will always miss you
but now every time I do, I use it as a reminder that love exists.
